You know that ringing in your ears? Its like not good music. And i have to put a fan on when i go to sleep so that i don't hear the ringing. And the ringing is just a reminder of all my problems. Thats not good music.
And like sometimes when a song makes you cry, it like feels good. Usually it doesn't feel bad. But lately i keep crying, and almost crying without music. Its like a really desperate crying of echoing loneliness.
Song emotion isn't real. Song loneliness feels good because it makes you feel that you aren't alone. Someone else has felt that too. But its an illusion. They're not here with you.. Its being dishonest with yourself. At that moment you're not feeling the real thing. Its during musicless times, when your raw emotions are struck from the real uncontrollable moment, thats when you really hurt.
Fucked Up
Sunday, November 22, 2009
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